Dear Mrs ______ I am taking the liberty to write to you because there is something STRANGE happening, and I am very anxious to help you! Do you know why I’m so interested in you _____ ? I am interested in you because I have taken a good long look at your astrological pattern and your future, and based on years of research I’ve come to the following conclusion:

And so it goes on and on … for six pages until you get to the order form:

… but as you are my friend, and are seriously bent on helping me, I will pay only AU$69.95 … plus AU$10.00 for postage & handling ..

This will allow Blanche Calmette of Singapore and Hong Kong (yes, both) to change your luck (through your “SUPER OCCULT ACTION”) and provide a free gift of a Celtic Wheel of Life pendant on a gold-coated chain.

On behalf of consumers everywhere, we say –

Dear Blanche Calmette, clairvoyant

When reading the future, did you predict that Western Australian consumers would send their letters from you to WA ScamNet?

We think your letter is about developing a “sucker list” to sell to other mail order sharks. But you already knew that.